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Be Well with Crossover Health
Be Well with Crossover Health
Self-care ≠ Selfish (with Karista Flynn, RN)
We see it all the time— it’s easy to get overwhelmed and overlook our own needs, especially when caring for others comes first. Self-care is not selfish, it’s “putting your own oxygen mask on first” so that you can be there in your best form. It’s being healthy in body, mind and spirit so that you can enjoy the life you create, be the person you want to be, and accomplish the things you want and need to do. In this episode you’ll hear from Crossover Registered Nurse, Karista Flynn, on how she helps our members to nourish all aspects of self-care (physical, emotional, spiritual, social, intellectual) through intention setting and boundary setting (taking space for yourself!).
Stick to the end of the podcast to learn more about Karista’s own podcast with her best friend, her festive guilty pleasure, and her favorite method of self-care.
Resources
Many times we get these hints of, oh gosh, I need to make some more time for myself. I haven't been doing this for myself. I'm feeling exhausted. I'm feeling drained. So what is happening is we are finding ourselves in these states of stress,
Crossover Health:happiness, success, freedom, energy, fun, balance, strength, peace. It all stems from our physical and emotional well being. You're in the right place for a healthy discussion with experts to show you the way. This is B Well, a podcast from crossover health. Not sick is not enough. Being Well is a movement to get the most we want out of life. In each of our episodes, we pick a health or lifestyle topic, bring in one of our doctor from the frontlines and have a real conversation. Be well do good. Enjoy life. What's up everyone, this is Dan Lord, Program Director for crossover health, you're in the right place for a healthy discussion. Just a reminder, the following presentation is for informational purposes only, and is not intended nor implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice. Please do not apply any of this information without first speaking with your doctor. So today I have Krista. She was born and raised in Austin, Texas, where she currently resides with her husband John have almost two years and two fur babies, her Husky rider and her Texas Shepherd Nova. She has been practicing nursing for 17 years has been with crossover for six and a half of those years. During this time, she has also completed her health coaching personal training and behavior change Specialist certifications. Most of her spare time is spent co hosting a podcast with her friend called Love always self, where they talk about the spiritual aspect of wellness and connections between spirituality and science. She is driven by curiosity and her desire to continue learning as an interest in prevention of illness, or rather a focus on wellness and balance within the body, mind and spirit. Welcome, Krista. Great to have you on the show today.
Karista Flynn:Hi, thank you so much. It is such an honor to be here and be on the podcast. So thank you so much for having me.
Crossover Health:Could you tell us a little bit about your practice at crossover just to get started?
Karista Flynn:Yes. So I've been working with crossover, like you said for about six and a half years, I've been working in the Austin district and just providing prevention care, primary care. We've also been supporting people that have experienced COVID. And so providing a lot of support through illness into recovery. So it's been quite the journey.
Crossover Health:You've been very busy. And thanks so much for all the amazing work in leadership. Over the past few years, especially during the pandemic, it's been really amazing. Today's topic is really important and timely. We want people to really think about taking care of themselves. And right through the hustle and bustle of the holidays. A lot of these challenges come centerstage right. So I'd love for you to maybe start there to educate our audience, our listeners a little bit on this topic.
Karista Flynn:Yes. So I think this topic is really important throughout our day to day, so in our life in general. And of course, with the hustle and bustle of the holidays, I think that it's even more important to practice promoting self care in your day to day habits so that we can really enjoy and experience the holidays and our family and friends to the fullest. So first off, you know, self care, a lot of times has this negative connotation that is actually selfish to think of yourself first. But when it comes to self care, that is not the situation, you are one of the most important aspects of your life. So we've got to make sure to take care of our needs to continue to live our life to the fullest. So self care is actually taking care of yourself and your needs. So that you can enjoy the health of your body, mind and spirit and continue to accomplish things that you want to the things that you need to do and be the person that you want to be and enjoy life to the fullest. So,
Crossover Health:I love that and right you can help and you know give of yourself more if you've taken care of yourself in the first place. So I love that framing. Why is it so important to talk about during the holidays?
Karista Flynn:Well, you know our to do lists tend to expand infinitely during this timeframe. There's so much to gather, whether it's Christmas presents food preparation, trying to coordinate activities with different folks family members or friends. So with all of these external forces that are pulling our attention outwardly, it's really important to kind of set a boundary or even practice a habit of regular self care and prioritizing yourself in supporting your ability to get all the other things done.
Crossover Health:Exactly. And be proactive about it, you have to plan for this, it can't be something that you think about doing or, you know, consider, you need to actually be proactive, right?
Karista Flynn:Yeah, it does require active participation, have yourself with yourself, practice of mindfulness and even intention setting when you are doing the self care activities. And when we talk about self care, there's different aspects of that. Many times we focus on the physical aspects, you know, fitness, dietary habits, sleep, regular prevention checkups with the health care providers, but we also need to give space for our emotional self care, our spiritual self care, social and intellectual self care as well. So being able to give space for each of these areas, so that we are supporting our different needs, and being able to move through life in a way that we are gaining experiences that we desire or need.
Crossover Health:So how does this kind of support your overall wellness? Yeah, out of self care transition into Oh, no, I feel better.
Karista Flynn:Yes. So you know, first off, I think that we have a really great analogy, when looking at that prepare to take off speech by the flight attendants, right, they talk about what to do in cases of emergency. So when you see that oxygen mask pop down, make sure you put your mask on first, before you help the others. I think this is a perfect analogy for self care, you know, the oxygen mask dropping, that's our stressful event. And in that moment, we have a choice, we can either choose to put our oxygen mask on first provide our self care, or we can choose to put other people ahead of our needs. And if we choose somebody else, you know, putting on their mask first, then we're going to ultimately become a burden on them because we are no longer able to care for our needs, which is why it's so important to provide that self care proactively so that you're able to continue to care for those around you and continue doing the things that you want to need to we many times we get these hints of, oh gosh, I need to make some more time for myself, I haven't been doing this for myself, I'm feeling exhausted, I'm feeling drained. So what is happening is we are finding ourselves in these states of stress. Many people have heard the fight or flight state. So that is our sympathetic nervous system in overdrive. And when when that happens on a chronic or consistent basis, then we can experience a lot of negative impacts by way of inflammation in our body. And that may show up as a skin rash, or maybe a GI upset. So whether that's nausea or our bowel movements have changed. We may experience jaw pain and headaches, body aches, high blood pressure, lowered immune response, and even auto immune responses where the body begins to attack itself. So when we start to practice self care, we are actually teaching and retraining our body that it doesn't need to be in this chronic state of preparing the body for stress related activities. So we are realigning with the rest and digest state of the parasympathetic nervous system. So in supporting overall wellness, when we put focus on bringing our body back into that rest and digest state, we are actually giving our body an opportunity to have more restful sleep, better ability to metabolize foods and gain more nutrients from the foods we eat. We notice a reduction of inflammatory responses and the body our immune system begins to boost. Our mindset improves, we are better, better able to manage and navigate stressful or intense situations. And we can even experience improved conversations with other people. Because we can find ourselves being less reactive and more responsive. We're able to practice listening, more opening rather than becoming defensive when we practice these self care activities.
Crossover Health:That never happens during the holiday. You're right No no, I I'd like to point out that self care you mentioned sometimes people look at it and say well, that's kind of a selfish. I think other people also might think that's fluffy, and something that's a little squishy But this is a real issue, right? Like, like you, you are absolutely walking into triggers that can can cause mood challenges can cause anxiety and stress, lack of sleep, and it can easily go downhill and affect real chronic disease management. And so I appreciate you pointing that out and kind of breaking it down. And I was kind of laughing to myself, when you were talking about, you know, this actually impacts the way you can communicate, and how you can listen and respond to things. Another reason why this is so timely, because the holidays, you're you're interacting with people that you love, but also stepping into situations where there can be stress and challenge and a lot of emotion. So really good to talk through.
Karista Flynn:Yeah, we love our family. But that doesn't mean that we always get along. And when we practice prioritizing ourself, and practicing giving back to ourselves, we are, you know, given a little bit more opportunity to practice patience with others. And I think that during the holidays, it's a prime time to do these things so that you can experience that positive feedback from the implementation of this regular self care. So what exactly is self care? Right? Yeah, it is. Anything that you do for yourself that feels nourishing or soothing? That can come as something that is calming or relaxing. But it could also be something that is intellectual, spiritual, physical, practical, or something, you just need to get done and off your list to help reduce that stress. So let's look at physical aspects of self care, that is getting our body moving. So whatever that means to you, that could be exercise that could be weightlifting, yoga, dance, just getting the body moving. But being mindful while we do that, so we are connecting with our body so we can actually feel the physical experience of the movement, going for a walk in nature, and practicing grounding. I think that many people think grounding is just going and sitting out in nature. But really, grounding is bringing us into this present moment. So many of our stressors and anxieties stem from times outside of the present moment. So we're worried about what we should have done in the past or worried about what could happen in the future. But bringing our focus back to this Now moment, allows us to maybe set aside those stressors for the time and realize that right now, we are safe, we are comfortable. And we are, you know, sitting in love. And so we're able to just call them those fight or flight responses that for things that are not happening right now. So grounding already
Crossover Health:feeling better, Kristen, Oh, I love it. Great.
Karista Flynn:And I found a really cool YouTube documentary called the earthing movie. And it talks in more detail about the scientific aspect of how actually grounding in nature so taking your shoes off, standing in the grass, hugging a tree, whatever floats your boat, how that actually can help to reduce the inflammation within our body. And so I think that that is just really cool. So gardening, right?
Crossover Health:I would remind you, I'm sitting in Wisconsin, Christa. Yeah. And so and so my granny might be building a snowman. Yeah. But hey, it works just the same.
Karista Flynn:And if you don't have a comfortable access to an outdoor experience, grab a potted plant and stick your hands in there. And you can ground with the plant there's there's still benefits to that there's there's other ways around it. You know, even visualizing, connecting with the nature outside while you're indoors can also prove beneficial breathing exercises. This is something that I regularly bring up with the majority of my patients, whether they are sick, or well, I talked to them about doing breathing exercises. And what what I think is just really fascinating is when we breathe unconsciously, so much of our breath is located in our upper chest. And this is the space where we breathe when we are in that fight or flight state. When we practice, taking deeper breaths, moving that oxygen down into the belly, so expanding those lower lung fields, we are actually helping and assisting our body into moving into that rest or digest state. So practicing, you know some deep breathing through out the day, expressing gratitude for food and fluids. I think you know, this is, again, I love this stuff because it's so cool. But when we practice these positive affirmations, and expressions of gratitude, we are actually improving the way we look at things, we are rewiring our brains to focus more on the positive aspects and the the negative aspects of things.
Crossover Health:Krista, could you give an example of an affirmation, maybe one that you might use?
Karista Flynn:Hmm, I am filled with love. Or I am joyful. I am infinite.
Crossover Health:Oh, I like that.
Karista Flynn:And the list goes on. And I love writing these on a regular basis. Yes. If you're ever curious about the impact of your words, I would recommend to look up Dr. Emoto. And his water experiments, it is really cool just seeing the physical changes in the water when certain words are expressed at them. So it's just really cool. And then relating that to our body because we are, you know, 60 plus percent water. So what we say what our intention is, does impact us and the others around us at that atomic level. Interesting. Some other self care practices, and a lot of these are, you know, hitting on different levels, the physical, the mental, the spiritual, these overlap. So journaling, doing meditation, there's different types of meditation, a lot of people struggle with the thought of having no thoughts, right.
Crossover Health:Of course, it's really hard. Yeah, notation is extremely hard. My personal experience, though, and I'm not consistent, but just the act of attempting to meditate is is helpful and mindful. And you don't have to be good at it per se, right? Like, there's no good, it's just giving it a shot and being intentional about it. And that's what matters.
Karista Flynn:There's no wrong way of trying. I think with meditation, it's all about trying to not have to take action on your thoughts. So being able to watch your thoughts as they pass through your mind and let them go. And if you need to do something with it later, acknowledging that you will address that later. Yeah, so meditation, mindfulness practices, creating awareness around what is in your present in your internal, so within yourself, and in your external environment. That goes back to that grounding practice. And learning to let go and let flow. So picking your battles. Yeah, riding the wave of life, rather than, you know, stressing about the lack of perceived control, especially during the holidays.
Crossover Health:It's such a key one, though, it's so easy to get wrapped up in things that you can't control. It's human nature. To do that. I found that meat for me personally, remembering, hey, like, here's what you can actually make an impact on, here's what you can control. So focus on that. And wow, the stress goes down.
Karista Flynn:Absolutely. You can't control any buddy else. You can only control yourself, your perceptions and what you do for yourself, which is why we're talking about self care.
Crossover Health:That's right. Krista, you mentioned journaling. And for those who are interested in that idea, do you have any tips on how to get started or maybe key things to know, just to try and get going because I think that's an also a really interesting one and helpful.
Karista Flynn:So journaling is can be a practice where we are looking within being able to name what we are experiencing. And using that to evaluate again, what we can do to alter our perceptions, recognize the areas that we do have control in and see the areas that we can let go of control. I will say that sometimes I have days where I have nothing to write, and I will literally write I have nothing to write. And that's okay, too. Some days are just like that. Other days, all I have are my affirmations. And then there's other days where I've got three pages of, you know, things that I'm writing out. And when we give ourselves opportunity to x press it, we are not holding it in. And it's not causing a dis ease within us or disharmony within us. So we are able to express it. And that makes it easier for us to kind of release things.
Crossover Health:And to your point now, no judgment, it, there's no rules here. And you mentioned how it changes for you every day, and you have a great mindfulness practice. If I get out for a walk, and do some grounding, and some deep breathing, I feel like I've accomplished a lot that day. And it does, I mean, makes such a big impact. And I think all I'm pointing out is it can be bite size, you don't have to do this whole litany of things. You need to figure out what works for you and what is compelling and try
Karista Flynn:it. Absolutely. Just like there is no one right diet for every single person, there is no one right way to do self care. It is all individualized. And it's it's important to maintain flexibility with yourself. If there's a day where it's really hard to fit time for you in, then, you know, just taking one minute of deep breaths, which you know, can be done while sitting at a stoplight. Yeah. So learning to be flexible, trying different things, see what works for you what feels right, what you feel alignment with. And if it doesn't feel right, well, that's okay, you've learned something about yourself and move on. Totally. Okay. You know, I think it's important also, that we remember that some of our self care also comes from our social support system. So making sure that we have, you know, our go to people that we can talk to be vulnerable with, and receive supportive information and, and guidance on how to respond to different stressors. So we have some people that we go to just to gripe about things. And that's fine and dandy, they serve their purpose. But we also need those people that can provide us some feedback that can give us some honest truth. And maybe let us know when we need to shift some things, to see things differently. So whether that person is a best friend, your spouse, or even a therapist, I think it's very important that we have those people in our lives.
Crossover Health:It's a really good point. A couple
Karista Flynn:other things I wanted to mention about the self care, one way that we can do some self care is during our hygiene routine. When we do our activities of daily living, like taking a shower, brushing our teeth, there's a lot of times where we're not being very mindful of it, we are sitting there brushing our teeth, thinking about what's going to be happening over the next eight hours of our day. And we are not present in the moment with our body. And so shifting our focus to being in that moment, and being aware of what we're actually doing, and maybe even expressing thoughts of gratitude, thank you for still being with me teeth, I appreciate you for you know, to in the food and helping me get my nutrients that I need. You know, just a quick little thought like that is a form of self care. We have a lot of distractions, as well that come up. And so I'd like
Crossover Health:to at least give a little bit of space, especially during this season.
Karista Flynn:Yes, during the holidays, there are, you know, distracting activities, like watching TV, listening to podcasts, and socializing that are, you know, beneficial to us. And it's recognizing the time and the space that we need those versus something more soothing, something that gives back to us in a longer term. So when we use these distracting activities, it does allow us to put a sort of distance between ourselves in that stressful situation. And this can allow time for our emotions, the intensity to kind of settle a little bit and then we can be more productive with dealing our feelings afterwards. But keeping in mind that while this can be useful, distracting techniques tend to not produce the same long lasting benefits beyond the actual activity as the soothing techniques do.
Crossover Health:It's easy to to fall into those distracting, they're easier. It's almost you're almost putting off your own self care if you only focus on the distractions.
Karista Flynn:Yeah, and you know, I will be honest, I have definitely gone through a timeframe where I have gotten lazy and my self care and just fallen into, it was more of a choice into watching TV on a regular basis every night. And I started recognizing that I actually felt this sense of gluttony while I was sitting there watching TV, and I actually set a boundary with myself and I said, You know what, I am going to fast from TV for the next four weeks, because I need to put more focus on my self care. And if this is the way I need to do it, then I'm going to do it this way. And it was very beneficial in being more productive in my own self care and productive and my other things that that I have on my plate,
Crossover Health:it's it's really important to take a step back and realize those things and see those things. I don't know if you have any pointers on, you know, you're going to talk about overcoming barriers, but how do you identify them?
Karista Flynn:So, I identifying barriers, right? For somebody who's listening right now, what are your first thoughts? You know, are you having any hesitation towards committing to time for yourself? Are you having any resistance towards this? And then asking yourself why. And I think this is a great practice to get into as far as checking in with yourself, you have all the information that you need within yourself, all we have to do is ask and give space to listen and receive that information. So asking what is my resistance from and it could be, I don't have time, there's not enough time in the day I'm overcommitted. I'm too tired. I don't have the space in my home to have quiet time. Or it may be that I don't want to come across as being selfish. So these are all barriers that I listed. And I think these are probably some of the most prominent ones to doing self care.
Crossover Health:The six courage to write the six. It's not, it's not just oh, you just go do this. You got to you have to go deep. It takes
Karista Flynn:Yes, yeah, you've got to be vulnerable with yourself even. And you've got to be honest with yourself, or else you're not going to find the answers to your resistance. And if you're not willing to ask those questions and receive the answers, it's going to be a lot harder to find ways around it and overcoming those barriers.
Crossover Health:I love it. So Kristen, any any final thoughts on on strategies here? I mean, you went through and amazing mindfulness practices and, and setting boundaries and taking some courage and really, you know, acknowledging where you're at, what else do people really take away from this?
Karista Flynn:So like we said earlier, it doesn't have to be this long drawn out, do all these things every day, where am I going to fit this in my schedule? It can be, like I said earlier, one minute to do three deep breaths anywhere throughout your day, take a minute to evaluate, you know, if somebody comes to you and says, Hey, let's go do this. And I want to go put this on your schedule, take a beat, it's okay. Hit that timeout button, say, hey, I need a minute to think about that. And I'll get back to you. And then learn to say no, you can say no, and still be kind. It does not have to be harsh or mean or scary. And once we Yes, it can be scary. But once we start practicing it, we will get some positive feedback, that it's okay. And it's safe to say no. When we're tired, choose rest. All right, that's your body telling you you need to rest. So set your intention to receive restful sleep and even adjust your sleep habits. So looking at them, am I spending screen time or time on my phone before bed? Am I having caffeine later in the day? Do I have negative thoughts about sleep? are you stressing about trying to get good sleep, that's not going to help us sleep. So just practicing gratitude and even visualizing before you go to bed that you're going to wake feeling rested in the morning,
Crossover Health:Chris, I feel like you're talking directly to me. I need to choose sleep and I will let you know that my my toothbrushing tomorrow morning is going to take on a whole new meaning. Literally, I love that because it it also helps you remember if you if you piggyback these ideas or concepts on things that you already do like your daily living routines, then you can start to get in a habit of doing it and that's where the magic is apt. So that's where you can really move forward and start to make a difference.
Karista Flynn:Absolutely. It's finding small ways to implement small changes with big impacts beautiful So, again, when we are facing stressful situations, we're around people that we love, but don't always like, when we are faced with growing to do lists. Just recognize that we cannot change what other people say and do or do not. We can only change what we do for ourselves, our perception of a situation and how we choose to respond to things. So, this holiday season, gift yourself with self care. This is an important aspect of wellness and in maintaining our sense of well being. So tend to yourself regularly just like you would a garden in supporting life and growth.
Crossover Health:Thank you so much, Krista. It's been so wonderful having you on the show. You know, our listeners are learning so much. And I think it's going to be really helpful during this holiday season. We'd like to get to know you a little bit better. Is it okay if we jump into some rapid fire questions? Absolutely. Let's go. All right, here we go. Here we go. So what's your favorite podcast at the moment?
Karista Flynn:Well, obviously I'm a little biased towards the one that I co host with my best friend. So love always sells. Yes, love always self as our podcast, we are on all of the regular platforms. And you can also find our website at love always self.com. And of course I also listen to my daily fun astrology podcast. So every morning, I get a little tidbit there. And subconscious mind mastery. So those are those are my go twos.
Crossover Health:Beautiful. What is your guilty pleasure?
Karista Flynn:So during the holiday season, some lactose free eggnog. But outside of the holiday season, I have absolutely no shelf control. So I buy books, and I love books, and I read lots of books.
Crossover Health:Your shelf control has to get better. Yeah, yeah. So it's the worst. It's the worst guilty pleasure. Yes. I'll give you a pass on that. What's one thing you do every day to stay healthy.
Karista Flynn:So I practice a lot of gratitude. I practice gratitude when I drink water. So even in my mind, just saying thank you for this water that I'm receiving may you take it for your greatest and highest good when I'm preparing meals, expressing gratitude for the food and the nutrients that it's going to be giving my body even practicing gratitude for things that I really don't like so finding silver linings and situations. And recognizing that there are lessons to be learned in each of the situations even if they don't always feel good that I do know that they're for my greatest and highest good. So practicing gratitude and all facets of my life.
Crossover Health:Thank you so much for coming on the show. Krista. It's wonderful to talk to you and I hope we can have you back sometime.
Karista Flynn:Thank you, Dan. It was a wonderful experience and I really look forward to the next time.
Crossover Health:Have a wonderful holiday season.
Karista Flynn:Thank you, you too.
Crossover Health:Anyone 18 or over in the United States can be a crossover health member. At crossover. You stay connected to a care team that works together and gets to know you over time. A doctor, a nurse, a mental health expert, a physical therapist, a chiropractor, a health coach, a fitness coach and a care navigator. Go to crossover health.com to join the healthcare revolution. If you like our podcast, please follow or subscribe and leave a review. If you have a topic you want us to explore. Let us know on Facebook or Instagram at crossover health. Until next time, be well